Deciding to Adopt

Stepping onto the path of adoption as a way of building your family and becoming parents is exciting, frightening, and overwhelming. You are entering new territory. You want to leave it with integrity, gratitude, and, of course, your baby. This decision may have been preceded by infertility treatment, an exhausting and at times despairing experience. It has taken a lot then, to again pursue parenthood. It is a testimony to your fortitude and an affirmation of just how important having a child is to you.

There are some basic early decisions to make after deciding to adopt. The initial one being, whether to take the domestic or the international route? There are pros and cons to each one, depending upon your values and preferences of the adoption experience. Do you want the services of an attorney for a private adoption? Or do you prefer an adoption agency? Maybe you will choose both. There are also facilitators, another party in the world of domestic adoption. Often they are used in conjunction with an agency or attorney. If you choose domestic, you will be asked to decide if you are open to or prefer a baby that is of a different race.

Where are you on the spectrum of openness in adoption? All these are important decisions, some easier to make than others. It is also a process where your perspectives and decisions may change as you become more experienced. If you choose domestic adoption, you will most likely meet at least one birthmother and have anywhere from a brief and distant relationship to an ongoing, close one. It is a unique and sensitive relationship, often accompanied by anxiety on both sides. You want to be flexible, yet keep some boundaries as well. You may want to have a supportive place to help navigate that relationship

Maybe you and your partner are not agreeing on some aspects of the process. It can be a relief to talk with someone knowledgeable yet removed from your direct search. I offer a space where you can let your guard down. I can offer support and guidance anywhere along the way. I have been through the experience of adopting after infertility. I have worked with many couples and individuals who have been there.

Feel free to call me for a 15 minutes free phone consultation at (415) 262-0232.